Saturday, August 15, 2009


i think I want to just write i dont know what quite about yet but i just want to write and let my fingers glide over the keyboard in a very sexual manner in the hopes that this laptop that is already turned on stays turned on because it is so easy to run your fingers along a woman who is already turned on and turn her off so i am hoping that doesnt happen this time but we will see and i was also thinking about how im not going to look at the laptop or the screen for a while so that what i type is fresh and raw but i have written so much that even when i make a typo my fingers move to the backspace button and correct it so oddly enough it is more natural for me to fix my mistakes than it is for me to let them be but from here on out i will vow to just type and whatever happenes happens but i just corrected one dammit i cant stoop it and now i think i finally have let go i am not sure if i have made any types yet i just know that i havent hit the basck space button so i should be fine and i just did it again twice weird anyway i really hope there arent any apostrophes or periods because i didnt want any i just wanted the words to come and since i dont think with apostriphes or periods then the words should just come naturally yuou would think or hope

i stopped and thought for a second and my mind isnt much clearer i have a 12 hour drive tomorrow and my nieces birthday party is today even though she turned 4 yesterday and all three of my nieces are together for the second time in their short lives i wonder what life will be like if i move to korea or china or little italy in downtown san diego and these ppeople in here must be regulars because a few of them say to each other hi dan and hi mary and hi i didnt catch what the real names they used were because im a snoop but not a fuckin eavesdropper and the cute girl at starbucks just looked over here but that was a different prose/poem and not this one so i dunno what i am doing mentioning her other than the fact that i have a girl addiction i think and i have resumed back into correcting my words and this ramble is nearing to a close but i promised myself that when i finish it that i would leave and i dont want to leave just yet becayse this girl is really cute and since i dont live here i want to spend as much time as i can near her from 5 meters away as she works and i sit here like a creeper on the laptop but honestly i mean im not THAT creepy i have seen some creepers in my life and im not one of them at least i dont have a big orthodox jewish man beard and an orange t shirt and khaki shorts and dark eyeglasses because if i did then that would be much creepier than my current attire and facial hair

i stopped to think for a second and this is turning into much longer than i thought it would be but since it is probably my last work of the class it may as well be long and fruitful and i should really check my email again and where was i i think i was talking about how this will be my last post on this blog from this mindset as far as this class i think i should make it like 15 paragraphs long with no punctuation because kasey would like that because i know kasey and i almost spelled it casey but its kasey not casey or kc but since i know kasey he may or may not read all of this shows how much i know casey and he may read it and think it is random or terrible shows how much i know kasey and he will think well at least tommy was writing and it is the spirit of writing that is important and i wonder if it is flarfian or flarfistic or goldsmithian if i were to write a whole novel like this where i just wrote and write with no regard for punctuation or grammar or real coherent thought and what would i call it i guess i would call it thought or tommy or brain or synapse or something trendy and catchy and that way if it got published i could go on book tours and wear really outrageous clothing and be all brash and shit and have my friends film me and i will mark down the times i wrote and for how long and that will be the only division between thoughts is that i will sit down and write like this for say an hour or four hours with the tv and radio on and i will make comments and they will be like little timestamps within the text but i have to research if that has ever been done before i bet it has because every other thing i think about doing has already been done or is stupid like a seatbelt for a dog or a knife holder that locks so that if it is knocked over it wont spill the knives or your kids cant get it and slit your throat like that step grandfather just got his throat slit by his 13 year old granddaughter over milk he wouldnt give her or something i dunno i saw it on nancy grace and she yells all the fuckin time so its difficult to get all of the real details but anyway rest in peace old man this world is too harsh for you


My Niece

My niece told me the craziest thing. She said:
"come on come on. u wanna

Eating Coffee Cake Crumbs with a fork

begin sitting in your chair at the Sandy, UT Starbucks located on the corner of 9400 east and 13oo south. Order a hot chocolate and coffee cake. hear remark from lady who helped you the day before. flirt with cute coffee maker woman. look around. sit. get up. go back to car and retrieve danny's laptop (borrowed). eat, drink, and be merry (as permitted). write emails and check facebook. write poems. check facebook. think to yourself (is there a difference between prose and thought?) (note: make sure at the end of the thought there is a huge question mark in your head and it ought to be yellow...that is not a personal preference it is a commandment). finish coffee cake and begin sifting crumbs around with fork #2 until there is a large amount in the middle of the plate. place the fork in your hand in normal American fashion. place the fork on the top of the plate (12:00) and scrape downward. allow crumbs to collect onto fork, some falling back to plate between prongs. lift fork to mouth allowing for more crumbs to fall back to the plate between prongs. eat left over crumbs. sift remaining crumbs together again. place fork at 12:00 and repeat. repeat. repeat. get frustrated and say "to hell with these crumbs". write a poem about how to eat crumbs. change the poem from a poem to a bit of prose. delete all capitalizations except Sandy UT. think about crumbs. obsess about crumbs. gross out about couple kissing 3 meters away at 12:00. lick plate. wish you had another coffee cake. walk up to counter to look at cute drink making woman. think about if you want to order another coffee cake. smile at cute coffee maker. get asked question by ugly non cute register worker who helped you yesterday. tell her you want another coffee cake but you shouldnt. receive compliment about manish figure but do not give another back. walk back to seat. sip some hot chocolate. look out window. get angry. throw danny's laptop (borrowed) to the floor. run around anngrily. wake up from odd fantasy. notice danny's laptop (borrowed) still in fine cosmetic and working condition. sigh sigh of relief. feel weird. think about going pee but not wanting to leave your items unattended. realize you are in Sandy UT and they are probably safe. don't go pee anyway due to paranoia. end poem. think about expanding poem that is now prose. expand poem that is now prose a little bit further. advance through life during normal course of action 50 years (having babies and meals and flights and shits and cups of chocolate and infidelities and rounds of golf and shitty ties for fathers day and anger and high cholesterol and one drinks too many and cars and books and haircuts and salads). get assassinated.

Kasey is Fucking crazy (from google)

read the kAsey aka Mangodunks blog on fucking crazy I love the city
Kasey Louise Dearnley I got brown hair with blonde highlights and green eyes and i smell...AND I'M FUCKING CRAZY
Kasey school is so fucking crazy
myspace profile for kasey birch. find friends share kenny is Fucking crazy
myspace profile for kasey eileen. find friends share photos...And yes my dear i am sorry to are Fucking Crazy
hot crush #5 kasey kahne...miss you like crazy since you went away. every hour every day...and seriously gutsy as all fucking hell.

Utah Lady

This Utah lady talks to her children like they are adults.
She looks so young to have five children.
The daughter is wearing a ballerina outfit
the four sons, t-shirts and shorts,
though it is raining outside

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fact and Fact and Fact

Theres a man in this Starbucks who is looking at an iphone, slurping his iced coffee.
He is sitting alone has two different flavored (or at least colored) iced coffees.
I think he is a murder.

Advice from Gary

This is getting weird because
my new friend
Gary (the auctioneer and City Manager and Skinny Santa look-alike)
told me some sage advice:

he said in a voice not so gruff,
"you gotta learn to do something different.
A few years ago (about 6 to be exact)
I went to Billings, MT and
became an auctioneer"

to Gary
I look like a potential welder.